Struggles of My Writer's Itch

I’m going to be honest with you guys…

I haven’t written anything creatively (i.e.: stories) since NaNoWriMo ended in November.

I tend to always take December off, but by the end of January, I’m usually back to writing again. It’s now the middle of February and I’ve actually been in the mood to write for the past couple of weeks. However, I’ve found that I’m really good at making excuses for myself on why I shouldn’t write just yet.

For a while, I didn’t really have any story/plot calling to me. I even have a Word document of possible opening lines and it still did nothing for me. There was a time where I doubted myself and wondered if I’m not an imaginative person after all and I’ve just been lying to myself for years.

Last week, I finally managed to jot down a few ideas in a notebook. But I’ve reached the point where I believe these ideas aren’t good enough and I don’t want to explore them further. Which doesn’t make sense because no one would read these stories, so who cares if they’re good or not?

This is when I know it’s been too long since I last wrote something. I become fearful that, maybe in the past three months, I lost all my writing skills and I’ve now regressed to where I was three years ago.

Sigh. I put too much unnecessary pressure on myself.

But to go back to what I was saying about story ideas…

A few weeks ago, I thought about all of my major writing projects that I have worked on throughout the years. And I realized, generally speaking, I’m writing about the same thing over and over again. The central genre, the organizations within the stories, and even certain personality traits found within my protagonist. (Although, I’ve noticed that over the last two and a half years, my protagonists are beginning to evolve into anti-heroes. I don’t know what that says about me.)

I’ve been told that this is common among other writers/authors. Some people are okay with this about themselves; others, they’re bothered that they’ve boxed themselves in. For myself, I’m not sure what to think. The fact that I’m basically writing the same thing, time after time, must mean I’m still trying to work the idea out. Obviously something about it must still interest me. But on the other hand, I wonder how it’s challenging me as a writer if I’m not working on new ideas.

Blah.

So anyway, to sum my ramblings up, I’ve been itching to write but I don’t know what stories to work on. And I think too much.

But what else is new?