Superlatives for the Books I Read this Year (2019 Edition)

It’s the end of another year, and it feels like every year disappears quicker than the last. So long 2010s. (And thank goodness.) I was hoping to finally hit my goal of reading 22 books in a year, but I ended up with exactly the same amount as last year: 20. Ah well. I’ll take that over reading fewer books.

Anyway, my annual “Book Superlatives” post is a fun way for me to recall the novels I read during the past twelve months. There were only two books I did not like at all, four I thought were okay, and the rest of them I enjoyed. Of course there were a few stand-outs in terms of greatness, which is why a superlative list like this exists! Here were a few of them:



Best Conclusion to a Series

BRIGHT WE BURN by Kiersten White

 
Believe it or not, but I read five novels this year that ended a trilogy or duology; I thought White’s story wrapped everything up the best. The beginning of this alternative history was a bit on the slow side, but it really picked up momentum as the novel progressed. I didn’t see the twist at the end of the “second act”, and I was surprised how all of the main characters got a relatively happy ending. I totally thought we’d witness the female protagonist’s demise instead of reading it during the epilogue. Overall I liked what White did with the series, and I can only imagine how much research she must have done to believably write this story in the time period that she did.





Best New Author to Me

WILDER GIRLS by Rory Power 

I know I raved about this book in a blog post not too long ago, but it definitely left its mark on me this year. Power wrote this post-apocalypse/thriller story with a literary slant, which I felt like it reflected the somber mood of the situation for the small cast of characters that were trapped together on this New England island. Everything turned to chaos at the end, and even though our three main characters made it out safely, the story still left me with more questions. I thoroughly enjoyed this debut from Power.




Best Stand-Alone Book

SATELLITE by Nick Lake 

I only read three books this year that would fall into this category (but one released a companion book earlier in the year). I half-contemplated nominating Power’s book again, but I didn’t feel like it was fair, so I chose my second favorite. 

With SATELLITE, I had to suspend my belief on certain circumstances. (i.e. I thought it was a little too convenient.) I was, however, surprised how much I appreciated Lake’s choice in writing style. I haven’t read anything else of Lake’s – so I don’t know if he typically writes like this – but the sci-fi book was written with zero capitalization. Also, every “and” was replaced with an “&.” My guess is that Lake was writing the story in a way that could seem different yet plausible for how humanity could one day construct sentences. Or maybe he was just trying to be more poetic. Either way, I will admit that it took me a little while to adjust. The rule-follower in me wanted to fix the syntax into the “proper” way, but I got over it the more I read.

But besides the writing, this novel explored the consequences of what could happen to a trio of children who were born and raised in space, and how their bodies adjust to Earth as they land for the first time. I never really gave it much thought about these what if concerns, and it made me appreciate the little ways on how humanity was built for life on our planet.


Most Impressive World-building

THE FATES DIVIDE by Veronica Roth 

This series of Roth’s is a bit anti-climactic compared to her previous works, but I can’t deny that she really stepped up her game when it came to her writing and world-building. There are multiple planets within this space opera, and I was amazed by all the intricacies Roth put into each world that the characters visited. They were all super creative, and I felt like she really took her time with understanding each setting. 

Runner-up: TWO DARK REIGNS by Kendare Blake 

Two of the four main characters found themselves in a new country when this novel opens up, and it juxtapositioned nicely against their previous home across the sea. Meanwhile, another character back on the island showed us readers a different side of their society. For a fantasy book that is the third in a series of four, I was surprised by how much of their world we had yet been able to explore.









Longest Book I Read

THUNDERHEAD by Neal Shusterman 

Clocking in at 504 pages, Shusterman’s dystopian was the lengthiest I read in 2019. I didn’t mind. It actually went by quickly. The next book in this trilogy, however, looks a little intimidating as it currently sits in my TBR pile. (It has a hundred more pages than THUNDERHEAD.) I’m still thinking about that cliffhanger…










Also, in case anyone was curious, I read a total of 7,771 pages this year. That’s 388.6 pages/book. Despite reading the same number of novels as last year, that’s only 56 pages more than 2018. So I guess I subconsciously remained consistent in 2019.

I’m hoping to finally get a chance to reach my goal of 22 books in 2020, but it’s always so difficult to set aside time to read during the last three months of the year. Right now, I have 25 books on my dresser that are eagerly waiting to be read. They like to mock me.

Here’s hoping that I’ll have a more successful year in 2020. (And decade.)

NaNoWriMo ’19 (aka: I’m Too Competitive Against Myself)

Has it really been over two weeks since I finished NaNoWriMo? I guess the days have flown by in a blur, trying to get ready for Christmas, since Thanksgiving occurred so late this year. On the bright side, having the holiday later than usual allowed me to focus more on writing.

And what an interesting NaNoWriMo it was this year. First off, the website underwent some heavy changes a couple months prior, but I hadn’t really logged in until October 30. I had to get myself acquainted with everything, and some features weren’t working the way it should have been. Unlike some users, I luckily didn’t have a problem with uploading my daily word count. I did, however, have some issues with the “recording of time.” I thought it was a cool feature – since I already time myself on how long it takes for me to write – but I felt like it was not showcasing the proper time periods on my stats. Good thing I still input this data into my own document. They also did away with the validation this year due to the program not working in their favor. It meant I didn’t have to spend time on November 30 copying and pasting my entire NaNo, but it also meant people could lie and say that they hit the 50k mark and earned their prizes without actually “winning.”

I wrote every day during the month of November. I had set out with the goal of writing at least 1700 words/day, but sometime around a third of the way in, I decided it was too easy. So I kicked it up to at least 1800 words/day. Not sure why I do this to myself, but it really shouldn’t surprise me anymore. (It’s definitely not the first time I’ve bumped my word count on writing projects, but I don’t think I’ve ever had the threshold be so high for a daily count.) I probably spent 5-6 days writing just after midnight so I didn’t have to write so much later in the day.

In the end, is it really surprising that I won for the sixth year in a row?

I won with a total of 55,443 words. Which meant I had beaten last year’s record by 2,382 words. I finished NaNo on Thanksgiving, so that was cool, but I still wrote during the last two days of November. My average daily word count was 1848.1 words. The average time was 1 hour, 40.2 mins. What’s interesting is that I also beat last year’s speed by 6 mins.

^Can you tell when I made the switch to 1800 words? 

I wrote 13 stories during the course of NaNoWriMo. My genres were all over the place. Maybe it was because the music I was listening to was all over the place as well? I wrote completely in third-person past-tense, so at least I was consistent in that?

The longest story that I worked on lasted me for 11 days. I had started it on a Saturday, and I needed to be somewhere that evening. I figured I wasn’t going to have much time to write once I eventually returned home, so I had to quickly come up with an idea to write a few hundred words. I leaned into my preferred genre and began writing something. Had no idea where it was going to go, but at least there was some sort of easy conflict set up in the beginning. And as I began to spend time with the characters and setting, I started to learn a bit about them and the story. Two short “chapters” in the beginning were basically exposition, but it helped with my world building. After all, I could always delete these paragraphs later if I ever wanted to polish it up. Halfway through the story, as I was rereading my work, I discovered that I was writing it in the direct and no-nonsense voice of the protagonist. I hadn’t planned on doing that – I was writing it in third-person, after all – but her personality had crept into the words. All I know is that I went very far with this idea I had spontaneously created simply because I had to complete my daily word count.

I only spent one day working on a story idea that I had previously thought of back in September. All the other stories were either derived from writing prompts or something I had made up on the spot. Not going to lie, there were a few days in November where I would stare at the clock as it ticked away toward midnight and I willed myself to think of some sort of plot idea because I had nothing. Those were always frustrating.

In the end, I’m quite proud of my new record. Of course, this also means I’ve only set the bar even higher for next year. But I’ll worry about that in October/November 2020.

As usual, here’s my annual grainy photo from my webcam with me and my lovely Winner’s Certificate.

P.S. I also managed to write a poem toward the end of November! Second one this year, so that’s probably it for me in 2019. I played around with the form, which I haven’t done with a poem in a while. It spontaneously came to me at 2 a.m., and I quickly wrote it down. The paper looks like complete chicken scratch, lol. Phrases were crossed out and replaced with better words, and I rearranged three stanzas. It definitely looks better typed out.

Unprepared for a Month of Writing

NaNoWriMo is coming! NaNoWriMo is coming! Tomorrow is the day!

And as you can tell by the title of this blog post, I’m not really prepared for it. Maybe one of these years I’ll create some kind of outline/plan. I don’t think I’ve had a particular story going into NaNoWriMo since probably 2013? I’ve won the last five years anyway, so I guess I find ways to make it work without much thought into the story process.

In the beginning of October, I really did start thinking how I wanted my November to look like. I knew I was going to pretty much stop reading books. (I actually started Book #20 early last week, but there’s no way I’m finishing it tonight. I deliberately chose a book where I wouldn’t have a problem remembering the story if I don’t happen to pick it up again until December.) I was also happily willing to sacrifice my exercise regimen that I was so strict with for the past four months. Then the chaos of October struck, and by the second week of this month, I stopped working out. Oops. I was just practicing sitting in front of my laptop for November, right?

But in between all the birthdays, all the weekend social activities, getting a new car, dogsitting, and my sister getting engaged, I pushed all things NaNoWriMo out the door. (I did, however, write my first poem of the year last week.) Except now it’s officially starting in less than twenty-four hours. I’ve been getting myself acquainted today with their new website.

My plan so far:

-Write a bunch of stories until one finally sticks. I have one idea that I was kicking around last month, so I’d like to give it a go at some point. I actually haven’t written any fiction since June, so I know I’ll need to write “warm-up” stories for the first couple of days. One of the stories I started back in June has potential, so I’d love to revisit those characters too.

-Be an overachiever this year again and write at least 1700 words/day instead of the recommended 1667 words/day. Hopefully I don’t lose my sanity in the process.

-Apply the tactic of write-after-midnight more than usual. If I write 45-60 mins right after midnight, it still counts for the new day. Therefore, I don’t have to write so much at once in the evening. It usually takes me almost two hours to get my word count in per day.

-I have 4-5 albums lined up for me to listen to while writing next month. Music helps me tune out the world so I can disappear inside my writing better. Listening to an album straight through prevents me from constantly leaving my Word document to change the song to something else that I prefer.

-Win.



It’s not a whole lot different of a plan compared to years past, but there’s no point in changing something when it’s not broken. My eyes are on a sixth Winner’s Certificate.

Needless to say, in case you need this reminder, I will be absent from this blog for the entire month of November. I have marathon writing to focus on, you know.

On that note, see you in December! And hopefully I’ve recovered from any sleep deprivation by that time.





P.S. Happy Halloween! I was hoping to show off my latest pumpkin carving, but my sister’s schedule was too hectic this month for us to do any carving, so it didn’t happen this year. Instead, here’s a picture of an adorable black cat because it’s Halloween-related and I’ve always had a spot soft for them.

P.P.S. Fun fact, but this is my 100th post on this blog!

Snakes, Snakes Everywhere

Snakes. These slithering reptiles have long been a common literary device, mainly used to symbolize a negative idea. This year, however, they have been cropping up on all sorts of book covers.

Months ago, I thought it was a cool coincidence that black snakes graced the covers of Pierce Browns’ DARK AGE and Leigh Bardugo’s NINTH HOUSE. They looked dark and menacing, a thing not to be trifled it. But between the months those two books were released, Shelby Mahurin’s SERPENT & DOVE was chosen to become Barnes & Noble’s monthly book club pick. Last month also added Kendare Blake’s FIVE DARK FATES, which has small red-and-purple snakes coiled around a shield. And just recently, the book cover was announced for Suzanne Collins’ hotly anticipated Hunger Games companion prequel. The name of the book? THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES, which sports a golden snake draped across a circular tree branch.

Curious about this phenomenon, I hopped onto Google to see if anyone else had noticed this trend. I was surprised by the lack of articles, but at least there were a couple out there. Even if I thought the content was lacking the substance I was hoping to find. Both articles were published way back in April.

Over on Stacked Books, the author listed eleven books she stumbled upon with snakes on recent YA and adult book covers. Some snakes were more in your face, others were more subtle. On Epic Reads, they noticed the same particular snake appearing in different forms – the snake gracing the cover of Bardugo’s book. (And then Epic Reads had fun with this idea and photoshopped the snake onto other popular book covers. Some of them are quite hilarious. Others actually could have fooled me, thinking they belonged on the actual book.)

I also learned that skulls have been a common occurrence on book covers lately too, usually accompanied with a snake. How interesting that the current literary fad is dark fantasy, filled with morally ambiguous characters, sly snakes, and creepy skulls.

But what is it about snakes that book designers believe will entice readers to pick up the novel?

A serpent made its very first appearance in one of the oldest stories out there: the Garden of Eden in the book of Genesis. The serpent tricked Eve into eating the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, twisting God’s words to sow doubt into Eve’s heart. As a consequence, enmity was formed between man and the snake.

This biblical story and its snake meaning still echoes in the current age. If you get called a “snake” nowadays, you are considered to have a slippery character. Someone who is sneaky, someone who is hiding something, someone who is crafty. A liar.

But snakes aren’t always considered a negative symbol. It could also mean “rebirth,” because of how a snake will shed its layer of skin to make way for a new one. It could signify “healing,” for it appears on the modern medical staff (based on Roman mythology roots). When a snake is shown eating its own tail, it represents “unity” or “completeness.” A never-ending loop. 

Are any of the recent book covers trying to portray the reptile in a more positive light? Eh, probably not. I have not read any of the books I listed above (yet), but based on the tone of the cover designs, I’m going to make this assumption. Dark colors, flickering forked tongues, and broken crowns don’t scream, “soothing” or “restorative.”

Like any other fad, I’m not certain how long we’ll be in the “dark fantasy, snakes, and skulls” phase. Maybe once the world seems a little bit brighter, when we’re all tired of reading and consuming stories about people overthrowing corrupt organizations, we’ll move on to another genre and symbol. For all I know, perhaps butterflies and doves are next. 

But in the meantime, I’ll enjoy my ominous snake-covered novels.

This is the Kind of Content I Come Up with When I Experience Writer’s Block

It’s hard to believe today is the last day of September already. How did that happen? (Don’t say, “One day at a time.”) I was filling in my October calendar yesterday, and I was amazed by how busy I’ll be in the approaching month. There are so many birthdays coming up (mine included), and I have some sort of social event happening in each of the weekends. As for this weekend, I’ll be on the other side of the state, attending a wedding for a family friend. Yay for getting out of my hometown bubble for two days? (At least I won’t be the one driving.)

And once October is over, I’ll have NaNoWriMo consuming my life in November. Then it’s all the holiday preparation and celebration in December. So basically the rest of 2019 should fly past me in a blur.

I started reading TWO DARK REIGNS by Kendare Blake a little over a week ago. Unfortunately, I haven’t gotten as far into it as I’d like to be. (I’ve only read 121 pages.) I was hoping to finish that book and start/finish another book before November hits. I’m either going to have to pick up the pace or I’ll be cutting it close with whichever novel I choose to read next. Because we all know I won’t have time to read with all the writing I’ll be squeezing into every space of free time I’ll have in November.

Also, in case you didn’t know, my taste in music is quite eclectic. It definitely showed in the past two weeks as I’ve been obsessing with two musicians/bands. The first one is (Sandy) Alex G’s latest album House of Sugar. My top five songs would be: Hope, Southern Sky, Gretel, Taking, and Sugar. I also discovered For King & Country, so I’ve been slowly going through their songs. So far, my favorites have been: God Only Knows (especially the Echosmith version), pioneers, amen, and Shoulders.

In slightly other news, if you can recall, the beginning part of September didn’t treat me very kindly. I’m doing better now, even if I feel like my mindset has been in a strange place lately. I’ve been thinking a lot about age and life milestones, which I guess it’s weird. And it’s not just because I’ll be a year older soon. My new bible study of the year just launched, and I was surprised by how many young girls joined my group. Like, there are now three 20-year-olds and a 21-year-old. You should have seen their eyes widen when one of the leaders admitted that she was 28. Granted, she looks a lot younger (in fact, she got mistaken for her 18-year-old sister last month), but I sat there thinking, “Um, I’m only a year behind her. How’d I get to be one of the older ones now?” That 28-year-old also just got engaged two weeks ago, and even though I’m most definitely single, I’m nowhere near the idea of wanting to tie the knot. I’m still trying to get some sort career of the ground, people!

I realize that everyone grows and matures at different rates, but I don’t think it’s ever more noticeable than in your twenties. And right now, I’m in an odd place where I’m not sure which crowd I truly belong in.

A Small Life Update + A Book Rave

For the past two weeks, I’ve been feeling down on myself for reasons I’d rather not say, so when this occurs, I like to remind myself of things that have made me joyful lately. You know, to help put everything in perspective.

1.) Small Road Trip

Last Tuesday, I went on a small road trip with my mom and sister. Every year (usually in September), we visit a particular town almost two hours away. We left the house later than we were planning on – and it slightly rained on the car ride there – but it was nice to get out of my hometown for a few hours, visit some stores, buy a few items. It was a little humid, but the weather resembled summer as we walked the downtown streets.

2.) Basement Renovations

We finally got carpet installed in our basement last Thursday and Friday. And it only took three months! (insert sarcasm here) I guess there was a backlog with all the carpet orders, and once it arrived at the store, we had to wait three weeks for the carpet company to fit us into their schedule. But now all the basement renovations are officially completed, so we can begin the process of moving all the junk laying in piles on our main floor back to where it belongs in the basement. Well, everything we plan on keeping anyway. We’re hoping to throw out or donate a lot of it.

3.) Poetry

I recently subscribed to a poetry youtube channel, Ours Poetica. They just launched last Friday, so there are currently only two videos, but they plan on uploading three times a week. Not sure how many will be uploaded in total, or how long the “season” will last, but I plan to enjoy it in the meantime. I like to listen to the speaker read the poem aloud first, and then I’ll watch it again to actually read the lines at my own pace.

4.) A Book Rave

I read and finished WILDER GIRLS by Rory Power, and it was. So. Good. Power’s debut was published in July, and even though I try to read one of my older books in my TBR pile first, this one called to me and I caved in. The genre is definitely up my alley, even though I feel like I hardly ever read any isolated sci-fi/thriller novels.

It mainly centers around the protagonist, Hetty, but probably a quarter of the chapters were also written in Byatt’s viewpoint. (Hetty’s friend who she views as a sister.) I noticed some juxtaposition between their chapters at a few points, and I appreciate the subtle comparisons.

From what I’ve gathered, it’s supposed to be a standalone novel, which I find refreshing. I feel like many genre books out there prefer to draw it out into a series of sorts. Even if the ending of WILDER GIRLS most certainly didn’t answer all of my questions. (Which I heard was the biggest complaint about it. That, and some people thought the pacing was too slow. The book was written with a literary slant, so of course the story was allowed to take its time and breathe compared to the more fast-paced genre fiction.)

When I finished the book, my brain went: What? Does Byatt ever get better? How come we never learned why Hetty’s body decided going blind in one eye was considered an adaptive measure? And what was the deal with the…thing…Hetty threw up in the last scene? Do her parents actually believe she’s dead? And I still don’t know why the cooler was just sitting there in the forest back in the beginning of the book. Ah!

I guess it’s one of those instances where the rest of the story belongs to the reader. All of my unanswered questions may make me frustrated, but at least it made me think more about the story after I finished it.

But if Power ever decides to one day revisit the story for a sequel… Sign me up.



Side note: This book was also part of Barnes & Noble’s YA book club back in the summer. I may be a little late to the game, but I can see why it was chosen.

Thinking of Autumn

It’s hard to believe that today is the last day of August. Where did the summer go? There’s a whole list of summer-related activities I wanted to do this year but alas. Unlike last summer when I had to practically raise a puppy, I really don’t have much of an excuse on why I couldn’t knock some things off that list. Maybe I took the phrase “lazy summer days” too much to heart?

Despite my lack of activities these past 3-4 months, I’m actually looking forward to autumn. And, yeah, I know that fall technically doesn’t occur for another three weeks, but in my mind, it starts once Labor Day weekend is over. Although, I’ve already seen Halloween decorations in certain retail stores and Starbucks is selling their Pumpkin Spice drinks, so I guess corporate America believes that summer ended last month?

Anyway. Spring is actually my favorite season, but there’s something about autumn that usually brings about all sorts of exciting changes. I’m not in school anymore – so I don’t have to stress out about the upcoming school year – but I’ll be meeting my new bible study group in three weeks. To be fair, most of the individuals from my last group will be sticking around, but now we’ll be receiving a round of new people too. And there’s been a slight change in leadership (because two of them got “promoted”).

College football has also started! I was heartened to see MSU win yesterday, but I don’t really want to discuss the quality of their gameplay. NFL is still in preseason, but my brother has always been passionate about football, so the TV constantly has some sort of football game on during the weekends.

And I don’t know about you, but I’m beginning to get tired of BBQs. Bring on the cider and donuts! Or apple crisp anything. I don’t like the taste of pumpkin, though, so you can keep all your pumpkin products to yourself.

I also think fall fashion is the best. I can start wearing boots instead of flip-flops. And even though I’m not much of a sweater person, fall clothing is all about being cozy minus the bulkiness of the winter cold.

Know what else occurs in fall? More books!

Spring is the season to promote debut authors, summer is for the beach read, and autumn is for the heavy-hitter/popular authors and books more on the literary side. (And winter is basically used to promote holiday shopping. It’s purely a business thing. The publishing houses hope that the novels they sell in autumn will carry them over financially until the spring.)

During the month of September and October, there are nine books being published that I plan on picking up. My birthday is in the middle of October, so these books always serve as easy gifts from my family. Because I’m told I’m difficult to shop for.

However, this isn’t good news for my pile of unread books sitting on my dresser. It’s currently at 17. I was able to catch up a little during the summer - since I wasn’t buy that many books - but still.

Last week, I finished reading SEAFIRE by Natalie C. Parker. I was pleasantly surprised by its non-stop action. Definitely had a summer vibe going for it. I mean, the best way I can describe it is that it’s about an all-girls crew of steampunk pirates. (The term “pirates” is usually reserved for thieves, which they weren’t, but they spent more time sailing the sea rather than setting foot on land.) Haven’t fully decided which book to read next, but I wasn’t planning on taking a week off. Not if I would like to read at least 22 books by the end of the year. (SEAFIRE was Book #17. And I tend not to read any novels in November.)

The one thing I’m not looking forward to in autumn is raking leaves. Our trees dump so many leaves, and they like to spread out the whole process for three entire months. But at least all the bright foliage throughout Michigan looks pretty in the meantime.

Discovering a Hidden Talent

On Wednesday, I spent a couple of hours in the evening hanging out with a group of friends. The last few times my friend invited us to her apartment, we would watch a movie. This time, though, she decided we should shake it up and have a game night. You know, after we spent the first hour catching up with each other about our lives.

The first game she retrieved was her unopened Ultimate Werewolf card game and tried to understand the instructions. The poor girl probably spent a good twenty minutes studying everything before realizing that she had bought the expansion pack but did not possess the starter kit. So that idea got tossed aside.

The eight of us then migrated to her kitchen table, and we played a few rounds of Nertz. Mainly because my friend (whose apartment we were at) wanted to practice on us because another friend of hers was always beating her at this online game.

Most of the people, myself included, had never played the game. Thank goodness I was seated next to a girl who had, so she helped me out. I did all right, but I certainly felt overwhelmed at times. Keeping track of 32 piles in the center of the table at the same time, along with my own deck, started to become stressful.

But at least I was doing better than the Graphic Designer sitting on the opposite end of the table from me.

“I’m so confused!” she exclaimed. “My brain was not made for this. I’m a creative, right-brained person.”

After a few rounds of Nertz, when it became clear that the same two people were always winning, we stopped and moved onto another game: Taboo.

I feel like I must have played this game at some point in my life, but I couldn’t recall. And once again, half of the other girls had no idea how to play. But we were able to split into two even teams, and away we went.

For those of you who aren’t sure what Taboo is about, you basically have to describe a particular word for your teammates to guess. Except there are usually six words relating to the topic that you cannot say while describing the chosen word; otherwise, the other team gets the point. Your goal is to collect as many cards/points for your team.

I was a bit skeptical of my skills for this game - especially since it requires a lot of talking - but after the first round, I discovered that I had ran through the most cards within the minute. Some of the other girls began to pick up on how well (and quickly) I could describe the item for my teammates without slipping up on the forbidden words.

Eventually, it had had dawned on me why I was surpassing everyone: I am a writer. And I was the only one.

In my head, I essentially have a working Thesaurus. I mean, when you’re writing, you don’t want to constantly repeat a certain word or phrase. Therefore, you use a different word that means the same thing. Can’t use the word “small”? No matter. I can describe something as “little” or “tiny” instead. No big deal. I can work around it.

At one point, I was a little disappointed in my two teammates (because the third one had to head back home) about not knowing a certain word. I had to get them to say, “tweet,” so I used the word “avian” instead of bird to reference the noise they make. The Graphic Designer and the another girl stared at me with blank faces. They didn’t know what “avian” was. After I repeated myself, the girl who works in Finance (whose place we were at) jumped in and had to inform them of what it meant.

“Avian” is not that uncommon of a word, is it? I know it’s not as popular as canine or feline, but c’mon. After all, “avian” and “aviation” are both derived from the same Latin root word.

Ah well. This is not the first time I’ve used a word in a conversation that the other person had no idea what it was. Last month, I had used “tirade” to my brother’s confusion. I also once said “sporadic” to a friend, and I had to explain it to her once she expressed her bafflement.

Either way, it’s always heartening to see my talents actually useful for something. Even if it’s just to win a silly game among friends.

Paralyzed by an Abundant of Ideas

Creative writers like myself will draw inspiration from practically anything. It could be rooted in a real-life interaction, in an article we read, in the tone of a TV show we are bingeing. Each idea extracted will be filed away in the giant cloud of our minds. The better ideas will take root and will hopefully appear in our chosen medium.

I like to call this my Season of Absorbing. A time where I gather all sorts of muses to get ready to write. I finished my causal writing regimen a month ago, and I haven’t done any sort of writing since it finished. Then again, today I finished my third book this month, so there’s that.

So I’ve got a handful of ideas I think might be worth exploring - some ideas more developed than others – and my fingers are itching to return to storytelling, but I can’t get myself to face that blank Word document.

Does anyone else ever have this problem?

Where you’re not short of ideas, but since there are too many of them, you can’t pick one, so you sit there, paralyzed, feeling a bit overwhelmed? And even though you know that you should just choose a story idea and write it for a little bit to understand the plot and characters better, you make excuses on why the story itself is not so good after all or that you need to actually figure the conflict out, so why bother?

I see it almost like the opposite of Writer’s Block. Reverse Writer’s Block?* I feel like there must be a term out there in the writing world about this phenomenon, but I personally don’t know what it is.

Maybe that’s why strict writing schedule work so well for me. If I force myself to write a certain number of words per day, I don’t have time to think too hard about my story ideas. I’m usually more concerned about getting those words onto the paper so I can move on with my day.

Of course, it doesn’t help that I’ve also been thinking about non-fiction lately. I never studied this form while I was in college, so I’m not entirely confident if I can construct a well-written piece. (They implemented the program the semester after I graduated.) I just read them as they appear on the websites of the literary magazines I keep an eye on.

All in all, I’m in the mood to write, I have the inspirations germinating in my head, but I can’t seem to persuade myself to actually write.

Being a writer of anything is not easy, you guys.




*Nope. Through quick research, I discovered that this describes “hypergraphia.” It’s when a person can’t stop writing. Studies suggest that a malfunction in the temporal lobe of the brain – which governs emotion and possibly inspiration – can result in the compulsive urge to write. Fascinating. But it’s not what I’m experiencing.

The Life Cycle of Turdus migratorius

Maybe she longs for the tree she sees / reflected in the glass, but I'm only guessing. / I watch until she gives up and swoops off. / I wait for her return

                                                    -“Bird” by Dorianne Laux 

During the month of May, a couple of robins were determined to create a nest on our deck. To be fair, it was a nice spot. A pillar that held the lattice wall on one side of the deck ran right up against the house. Above it was a little overhang from the second-story floor. This secluded area was a fine place away from the wind.

The birds collected all sorts of long, dead leaves from the nearby daylily plants and wove it into a nest. My dad went out there with a broom and pushed it off the pillar. The following day, the robins were at it again. And then the broom came out once more and down the nest fell, crashing to the ground. This process of building-destroying-rebuilding went on for about two weeks. The only reason why my dad finally stopped was because he figured, if the birds were that determined, they might as well have their nest. If the deck people came to repair the lattice wall while the robins were nesting, they’d have to work around the birds.

* 

The chicks hatched on May 27. Their mother had finally departed from the nest, and I noticed movement just over the rim. When the mother returned with a single worm, three heads popped up from the nest. Beaks wide open, bulging eyes closed, their necks stretched out to get a chance at being fed. Three little birds for the three children that grew up in the house. A trio.

* 

The baby robins matured quickly. One dominant bird was always stepping over the others as they gradually outgrew their home. It made sure to receive their mother’s worm first, whereas there was one poor bird that was always pushed down further into the nest. In fact, for the longest time, my dad thought there were only two robins that were born because the third one hardly poked its head up.

* 

On the morning of June 3, I had glanced out the side door to glimpse the birds. To my surprise, one of the robins was fluttering from deck post to deck post. It looked pretty confident in his abilities. There was still a bird sitting in the nest, but the third robin was missing. My guess was it had already taken flight.

When I returned home a couple of hours later, the chick sitting in the nest was the only one that remained. I wondered if its mother was ever going to return to feed it, or if she had left her offspring for good.

“You have to fly, little bird,” I remember thinking. “If you want to survive.”

I watched as the bird pushed up against the nest’s edge, twitching its wings, but it would not take that next step to at least perch.

Sometime in the evening, when I had become preoccupied with other things, the nest was finally empty. 

* 

The following weeks, we’d occasionally spy the baby birds out in the backyard. You could always tell which ones they were, for their plumage was still speckled with white. One of them was fatter than the other two, so it must have been the dominant chick. My dad pushed their old nest off of the deck now that they were grown, and a replacement never appeared.

From the other side of the kitchen window, I smiled one day when I saw two of the young birds walking along the patio pavement. An adult robin came by and offered a worm to one of the youngsters. It seems that Mama was still caring for them.

* 

In the end of June, we had thrown together a BBQ for dinner. Once we were finished eating, my brother grabbed the grill’s covering from off the ground and discovered a very tiny dead baby bird on the patio. Flies circled around it, but its body hadn’t decomposed yet, so it must have happened pretty recently. Our guess was that the wind had carried the chick out of its nest and to its death. Its parents did not have the foresight to nest in a secure place like the robins from a month ago.

* 

Four days later, my brother discovered another dead bird in the same area as the small chick. He alerted my dad, and a shovel was grabbed. When my dad went to pick up the speckled robin, its head flopped around. One of our baby robins, the trio I had watched grow up, had most likely broken its neck against the kitchen window.

* 

On July 9, I stepped out onto the deck to inspect the soil of my flower pots. I started with the two pots on my deck before I moved onto the remaining one on the deck landing. As I was looking at the purple petunias, I found it odd that two houseflies were buzzing around my flowers. I looked up over the railings, and I saw a scattering of gray-brown feathers in the lawn by the pine trees. I walked over to take a better look, and there was a dead robin on its stomach.

Something clearly must have attacked this adult robin. (Who can know if this was an all-grown bird from the trio?) Perhaps a cat or the neighborhood hawk/falcon got to it. Either way, the creature had no desire to actually eat the bird because its body was still intact. Its head was tucked beneath its body.

A few hours later, I pointed this bird out to my dad. The shovel came out again, and a shallow grave was dug beside one of the pine trees. The robin was carefully scooped up and placed inside it. Most of its strewn feathers were pushed into the hole and over the bird. Soil was thrown onto the grave, and the back of the shovel was used to smooth out the dirt. The backyard sprinklers were going to kick on in minutes.

Stumbling Upon a Creative Spark

Now that it’s officially the last day of June, the writing schedule I set up for the month has reached its end. I’m actually quite satisfied with the effort I made with it. (You know, other than not starting on June 1st like I had originally hoped for. There was a second project that I worked on for the month of June, and I like the results I’ve been seeing for this too.)

Basic statistics:

-I wrote for a total of 14 days. There were four odd-numbered days where I didn’t get around to writing that day, so I had to make it up the following day.

-Altogether, I wrote a total of 16,048 words. This means that on average, I wrote about 1,146 words each day.

-During the first two days of writing, I didn’t quite reach the one hour mark. (One was for 54 mins and the other was for 56 mins.) After that, I managed to write for at least an hour. My average is 1 hour, 8 mins per day.

-I worked on five different stories. I technically only completed one of them. (With the other stories, I wasn’t quite certain how I wanted it to end, so I’m basically hitting the “pause” button on them for now.)

-In terms of genre, I was all over the place. I first started with magical realism. Then anthropomorphic. (Which I haven’t done in a long time.) Then sci-fi. Then I guess fairy tale? And lastly, it was some sort of post-apocalypse/low fantasy mix? I just go with whatever plot or character speaks to me and hope it’ll take me far. They were all written in third-person, past tense. At least I was consistent with something, right?



When I started spontaneously writing the last story, the three characters that appeared on the page surprised me. And as I’ve been continuing that story with its current flimsy plotline, it has got me thinking. Because there’s definitely some sort of spark there that has called to me.

What I’d really like to do in the coming days of July is do some heavy-duty brainstorming to figure this world out. Maybe pull out my handy Plot Chart (which I haven’t used in a year). Because right now, the story could go in a dozen different directions; I don’t know which pathway is best for the two main characters.

Lately, though, I feel like I’m beginning to fall into the rabbit hole of research. For example, my Google history currently contains: Snowy owls, the genetic fur color variations of Red foxes, blindness and its day-to-day struggles, and a map of Michigan. I dare you to guess what kind of story I could possibly write with these topics, haha.

Fingers crossed I can turn it into a new manuscript project that I’ve been itching to do again. Although, I would also like to pick up and read a new book since I haven’t done so upon finishing Katharine McGee’s novel two weeks ago. My unread book pile is not getting any smaller, you know. (Not like I don’t read other things. I read magazines and newspapers every week. It never stops. Who needs sleep?)

Anyway. Hopefully July will be a successful month as well.

Dying Flowers, Restless Legs, and Winding Roads (aka: A Life Update)

Does anyone else start to become very busy once summer hits? Like, there’s something about sunshine that makes everyone get up and do things and be more productive.

For the past two weeks, I feel like I’m all over the place. Well, maybe not physically all over the place (I’ve been spending a lot of time stuck in my house), but mentally I’m running around and getting all sorts of tasks done.

And so, to give you an idea of what I’ve been up to lately, here it is in list form:

1.) Yard Work

If I did the math correctly, I spent about 4.5 hours last week pulling weeds from my backyard. You may think that we must have a ton of land, but it’s just a lot of landscape. And the first weed-pulling of the year is always the worst. (I had done the front yard the week before.) I was hoping to gain some sort of tan while I was outside, but it didn’t happen. Too much shade, I suppose. I was also required to transplant grass that was growing in our front yard landscape and input them into our patchy backyard lawn. This worked out better than I had hoped.

I’m a little disappointed in the flowers I had planted in the end of May, though. All the rain we’ve been getting is starting to drown my flowers. In fact, one of the species I picked out is practically dead. Sigh. Waste of money. And they were such a pretty deep purple color.

A squirrel has already tried to ruin one of my flower pots. I thought it was one of the rabbits already (every year they munch on my flowers), but none of the petals were touched. Instead, there was a gaping hole where they uprooted one of my flowers. Earlier in the week, I already had to chase away another squirrel as it was leaning over and inspecting another one of my pots. It appears that I’m going to look like a madwoman this summer, running and yelling at squirrels, lol.

2.) Basement Improvements

This past Monday-Thursday, we’ve had two people over to paint the basement. To prep for them, my family and I spent the previous weekend moving whatever was left in the basement (aside from the really heavy items) and hauled them upstairs to the main floor. We also stuck a few things into my sister’s old room upstairs since she doesn’t live here anymore. Needless to say, it now looks like I live in a hoarder house.

But since someone had to be home while the painters worked, that duty fell on me. My dad would debrief with them once they arrived at 9 a.m., but then he would leave to go back to work. So I’ve been trapped in the house during those days from 9-4:30 p.m. (Except for a period of time on Wednesday afternoon. I’m sure the painters never realized I was gone for that long.) I’ve been so restless lately because of my “imprisonment.” The basement looks really nice now, though. Next step: picking out the new carpet.

3.) Reading

During those hours when I was stuck in the house, I found myself doing a lot of reading. I’ve been having laptop issues lately – which is making me mad – but it’s forced me to step away from the computer because I don’t want to deal with it. Hence all the reading in between actually doing other things on my to-do list.

Two days ago, I finished Katharine McGee’s THE TOWERING SKY. I really enjoyed her trilogy, even if it’s usually not the kind of book I’d typically pick up. She did a nice job with creating distinct characters and some cool futuristic world-building. I didn’t expect her to end it on such a happy note, but considering all the grief and guilt she had her characters go through, I guess they deserved some happiness.

4.) Writing

When June started, I decided to casually undergo a writing schedule for the month. For every day that ends in an “odd” number, I had to write something fictional for at least an hour. Unfortunately, I failed to write anything on June 1. To be fair, it was a Saturday and I spent a few hours that day hauling things from the basement upstairs. But since June 3, I’ve been keeping up with it. I never quite know what to write, but once I finally get started, the hour goes by quickly.

I’d really like to get back into some manuscript-like writing, but I haven’t landed on an idea that I feel confident enough about. So for now, it’s just short stories or scenes that could belong to some sort of larger story.

5.) Like Looking from the Other Side of a Mirror

This past Wednesday, I met a girl who had just graduated from MSU last month. She was new to our group, but she had met two of my friends earlier in the week, so she was invited to join us for bible study. For a newcomer I was surprised by how talkative she was, but as she shared parts of her life and current struggles as a recent graduate, it took me back to my days when I was in her position as a 21-year-old.

By the end of the evening, I finally got a chance to tell her how I was an alumni and I asked her which church group she had belonged to out there. Unfortunately, we were not part of the same organization, but we were obviously familiar with each other’s. It was strange to think about how she enrolled the year after I graduated, did all her four years, and now graduated herself. Like, had it really been five years already since I left that campus?

But it also made me think about this girl who I kinda looked up to as a mentor when I joined my first bible study post-MSU. I haven’t seen or heard from her in over three years, but I hope she’s doing okay. Sarah and I had unknowingly gone to the same junior high, high school, and college together (and even got science degrees). She was only two years older than me, but she had qualities that I admired as she navigated trying to be a proper adult.

And although I can’t imagine being some sort of influence on this girl I met on Wednesday (there are plenty of other girls in the group who are doing a better job at being an adult than I am), I almost wanted to tell her some advice as she’s struggling to figure out the next steps post-undergrad. Like how she’ll probably feel directionless for far longer than she’ll think. How getting a job that’s not STEM-related is extremely difficult. How she should buckle up, because you have no idea what your tumultuous twenties will send your way. How being adaptable is probably the best thing you can do for yourself at that stage of life.

But I kept my mouth shut. Perhaps one day, if she keeps coming to our group, I’ll tell her. For now, though, it’s better for her to keep her hope. Best not to scare her about the long and bumpy road she is just beginning to embark on.

After all, I still have 3.5 years left of my twenties. Who am I to tell her when I’m still trying to navigate early adulthood’s twist and turns? Like everyone else, she’ll figure it out. Eventually.

My Brief Trip Up North

My mini-vacation last week went well, despite having to change our plans around the day of. My sister made the call early Wednesday morning after checking the weather – the temperature was supposed to be in the low 50s with scattered rain. The next day, however, was slated to be in the high 50s and pure sunshine. So Wednesday became the day reserved for sightseeing, and Thursday was the day we were going to Mackinac Island before driving back home.

Of course, during the four-hour drive to our hotel, we hit two tourist stops. Throughout my childhood, our family would always make a detour to them whenever we went up north, so I expected it. And without telling my sister about my recent fascination, she suggested that we visit a familiar stop in Gaylord: a small museum filled with taxidermied animals.

(What? You didn’t think I actually made up the idea of this kind of museum to fit my short story, did you?) 

So there we were, before noon, taking a walk down their halls with our little clipboards (because they provide a scavenger hunt, if you’re interested) and reading all the displays. At some point during the middle, we thought we heard another group entering the museum, but we never saw anyone else during our time there.

I learned so many new animal facts. Like the Walleye fish is named that way because it’s derived from the Icelandic word Vagl, meaning "film over eye." (Yes, the fish gives off the appearance of having cataracts.) Or that owls technically don’t have eyeballs. (They’re actually tubular and are held in place by bone plates.) Or that ermines are prone to catching a certain parasite that deforms their skulls. (As morbid as this sounds, I was disappointed I didn’t get to see a parasite-destroyed skull. I later googled it. Turns out, the bone above their nasal cavities becomes porous.)

^Fun fact: Black bears are the only native bear found in Michigan. 

It was also interesting to see how much my brain filled in the blanks and fictionalized the museum while I was writing my short story two weeks ago. I haven’t been to the actual museum since I was probably in high school, so my sister and I were trying to figure out what had changed during that time frame. The two animals you can touch in the sitting room were different – but the species were still the same. I also laughed internally when I stumbled upon the name of the early Michigan fur trapper that the museum has two exhibits of; I had given my protagonist the exact same first name. I wish I could say my subconscious was behind it, but it was just a fun coincidence.

Later, once we checked into our hotel and dropped our luggage off, we crossed over the Mackinac Bridge. We eventually found my uncle’s small business/tourist shop, and we sat in their parking lot for a few minutes, debating whether we should actually go in or not. In the end, we did enter the establishment. Made our uncle speechless, and then we hung around for forty-five minutes until my aunt showed up for her shift.

^Look at those white caps! See how windy it was? Our ears were smarting for a while after we climbed back down. 

The evening with my extended family went surprisingly well. Got to see their 8-year-old dog for the first time since we haven’t been inside their house in nine years. We even received free ferry ride tickets for the next day because my cousin works at one of the docks! (Saved me and my sister $25 each.)

As for the next day when we finally rode our bikes on Mackinac Island, the weather was exactly what was predicted: warmer, and no rain. Nothing will make you feel more out shape after bike riding for eight miles and then doing another mile or two inland where all the hills are. (We walked our bikes up those steep hills. I was always the one trailing behind.) 

^I had to climb 207 steps one way to get this picture. Thankfully, we walked this vantage point in the beginning of our day. By the end, we would have been way too tired. 

Throughout our bike riding circuit of the island, they have various educational signs to read. So we’d pause to take a look at them. And I discovered that I can’t stop proofreading them all. Who wrote these signs? Why did one board spell the word “travel” two different ways? (In American-English, it’s only one “L.”) I kept finding small errors as I was reading the displays at the museum too. The worst offense was when I noticed a semicolon after the word “however.” I thought my eye was going to start twitching upon seeing that. (The semicolon always goes before “however”!) It was usually a comma issue at the museum, though.

Don’t worry; I only pointed out the proofreading errors once to my sister. I realize no one actually wants to hear me obnoxiously correcting editing mistakes out loud. Not unless I’m purposely trying to annoy someone.

But there’s no escaping it in my head.

An Unexpected Muse

As of last week, my Writer’s Block is no longer in existence. Typing out my exasperation with it in my previous post actually worked.

The idea of a museum filled with taxidermied animals never left me. And in the early hours of a Wednesday morning – around 2:30 a.m. as I was getting ready to sleep – a character hit me. All I had was his inner turmoil, imagining him in this setting. Then everything else sort of spilled out the more I thought about how the protagonist got into this situation.

Much later in the evening of that Wednesday, I drafted a brief outline of the short story and began working on it. I wrote for almost three hours that night and then spent two hours the following day to finish it.

It was more of a literary piece – which is what I was aiming for – but the theme I thought I was going to explore ended up vying for attention with another theme: inheritance. Fun stuff. Some stories will certainly take you on some interesting turns once you actually start writing it.

Since I finished the piece, however, I keep going back to tweak it. I added a more concrete scene in the opening page. Thought about moving a few sentences around in another scene. (In the end, I didn’t do it, but I’m still not completely satisfied with the start of that scene.) Changed the final line of the entire story.

I’m also contemplating about maybe writing a second version of the story. Right now, I think I made the right decision to have it in third-person perspective. But there seems to be a strong narrator voice, which I keep going back and forth on. It fits with the detachment and despair of the protagonist, but I’m not sure if it’s too much. Also, the museum setting basically feels like a character too, so I don’t want to spend so much time in the protagonist’s head because of it.

I haven’t written a new story since last week, but now I have this “itch” to write more stories with a rural or small-town feel. I would never personally want to live in the countryside, but I understand why some people would find this type of environment alluring.

It probably doesn’t help that my sister and I are going on a mini-vacation up north next week. Northern Michigan, especially the Upper Peninsula, is quite known for their rural small towns. I have family that lives in the first tiny town once you cross the Mackinac Bridge, and my cousins’ school contained all K-12 students in one building. Granted, the elementary, middle school, and high school each had a section of the building, but still. The fact that they’d only have thirty kids in each grade is something I have a difficult time comprehending.

Despite all that, I hope I can mine some story ideas from my trip. I haven’t gone on any sort of overnight vacation in four years. My sister and I had talked about going up north since summer 2016, but we could never make it happen. (We also haven’t been in that area in almost nine years.) I’m excited for it. Even if I have had to evade all sorts of questions about it from my mom and grandma…because they’re hinting that they want to tag along on our mini-vacation too.

Overthinking Writerly Things

Confession: I have not written anything fiction-related since NaNoWriMo ended. Meaning it’s been exactly five months.

Sure, I’ve written other things in the meantime. After all, I’ve cranked out nine blog posts (not including this one). I’ve also been in the mood to do some creative writing in the past few weeks, but I sadly have not acted on it.

I think a large part of it is simply because I don’t know what kind of story to write. I know, I know – I should just start writing anything, and a plot will begin to emerge at some point. It’s how I usually survive and succeed at NaNo every year. But I’ve also been thinking about past stories lately and wondering if I should go back to them. Take that short story and expand upon it or have another go at rewriting one of my previous larger writing projects.

What doesn’t really help is that I’m in the mood to write something involving certain themes or settings or objects. You’d think this would make it easier for me to jump back into writing, but I don’t know how to approach said touchpoints. Anyone got any suggestions on how I can incorporate the idea of a museum composed of taxidermied animals? A farm containing an important well? How about a character looking to save her mentor?

Fun fact: With those first two touchpoints, I actually used them for two separate short stories during my Fiction Writing classes while I was still earning my degree. So part of me is wondering whether I should go back to those stories and develop them more or just create an entirely new story using those settings.

In two weeks, it will also mark one year since I finished my Spring Writing Project 2018. I have not opened or reread that manuscript since I completed it. I feel like I need to go back and read what I wrote a year ago. It’s not something unique enough where I would want to share it with the world, but I mainly want to revisit certain character interactions.

Speaking of characters, they are the ones who keep pulling me back to past stories I have written. There are certain projects where I would love to return to the protagonists, but their actual story/plot needs work. Do I revise their story, or do I create an entirely new story for these characters instead? I’m not usually one who uses the same character for multiple stories, but maybe it’s worth a try?

I think all of this is just my long-winded way of admitting that I have writer’s block. Not sure if it’s a lack of motivation or I need to re-shift my priorities or I’m thinking too hard about the details. Maybe I should force myself to write for a week or two in May, just to get myself back into the game. Kinda like what I did in February.

And if you’ve read this far into my ramblings, thanks.

The Two Bowling Parties

Life has been pretty good the last two weeks. By surprise, MARINA dropped half of her album three weeks in advance, so I’ve been listening to that. I haven’t started a new book since I finished my last one on April 1, but I’ve been re-watching waaaay too many Game of Thrones episodes in the meantime, trying to get myself prepared for its season premiere (which was two days ago). And the weather in Michigan is being its typical sporadic self – warm, cold, rain, brief snow, sun. But at least I felt confident enough to put away my boots for the season.

Unfortunately, I feel like I haven’t been as productive as I should have been. Not sure what to do exactly with the dress I mentioned in my last post. I ended up ripping out all of the stitches along the new waistline because everything was looking too bulky. So now I’m not sure if I want to pull out all the manufactured stitches and basically do heavy re-designing or not. I also haven’t done anything in the decluttering department either.

But in a surprise twist for me, I’ve actually had quite the social life the past two weekends. Yay for leaving the house and hanging out with friends!

During the first weekend, one of my friends threw herself a “Grad School Completion Party.” So off I went to celebrate her accomplishments and go bowling, even though I haven’t bowled in a few years and I’m not super great at it. (I only had one gutter ball during the whole two hours, so I was doing better than I thought would. And I was never placed last, so overall, I did okay.)

We took up four lanes. So, twenty people were actively bowling. And then 7-10 people arrived later, who obviously didn’t bowl, and just hung around and conversed with others. It was nice talking with people who I haven’t seen in a few months during the downtime I had while waiting for my turn to bowl. I think my friend, who was the one hosting the party, said it best when I saw her again two days later:

“So many people showed up! I didn’t realize I had so many friends.”

And I sat there thinking, “I didn’t know I had that many friends either!” (Sometimes I forget how many people I actually know/are friends with, not being on social media and all. If I don’t see them on a somewhat regular basis, I have no idea what’s going on in their lives.)

But we weren’t the only party at the bowling alley. Halfway through our reserved time, another party started arriving at the neighboring two lanes. A large bouquet of pink balloons was fastened to their table, and all sorts of small children started to show up.

I stood there wondering why a parent would host a little kid’s birthday party on a Friday night at around 8:30 p.m. Isn’t this almost their bedtime?

Then I saw someone bring along two more balloons. These were gold-colored and foil, not like the rubber pink ones. They were shaped into two numbers: a “3” and a “0.”

This wasn’t a children’s party next to us; it was someone’s (who was probably a parent) thirtieth birthday.

It was a bizarre feeling, comparing my group to theirs. Because even though I didn’t know everyone’s ages at my friend’s gathering, I knew a majority of them, and the large age range we had that night was 22-32. None of us have kids, there was only one married couple, and another was engaged. Yet, the new thirty-year-old next to us was probably married with at least one child. How different our seasons of life were, despite being relatively around the same age.

I wonder if anyone from the other group ever looked over at us and was reminded of their younger days. I hope it made them smile. You know, before they went back to wrangle their kid.

Another Creative Outlet

Last week, I took a break from decluttering in my free time to sew. (Fun fact for those who weren’t aware I had this skill.) It originally started because my mom wanted me to repair her winter jacket. The material had ripped near the bottom part of her zipper back in December, and she was waiting for the weather to warm up before forfeiting it to me. The temperature has been slowly climbing since Spring officially began (which is about time), so I was finally given this coat.

At first, I thought I was going to have to sew it by hand. This method is more tedious and time-consuming than running it through the machine, so I wasn’t looking forward to it. But upon further inspection, I decided that I could totally sew it on my machine. Took me under five minutes to patch the jacket up.

Coincidentally, the week before, I also had a friend (well, she’s probably more of my mom’s friend) ask me if I could repair the growing tear in her coin purse. I’ve done this before for her, so she sent it to me through the mail. (Unfortunately, the purse’s zipper inside the envelope got caught in the post office’s machine, so the envelope got mangled. Guess who had to pay $2.56 to receive this “package”?)

So two days after I fixed my mom’s jacket, I went to work at repairing this purple coin purse. This one can only be done by hand. And despite the hassle it is to thread the needle and making all sorts of knots, I found the process of hand-sewing more relaxing than machine-sewing. I’m just sitting there, making loops after loops. No need to keep an intense gaze at the sewing needle and its foot, making sure that the line of thread is as straight as it should be. No clicking needles or whirling gears.

I feel this ease while I’m sewing buttons too. (I do a lot of this kind of repair work.) There’s a way to do them on my machine, but I can’t remember how it’s done – despite how few dials my antique machine has compared to more modern ones.

And since I got back into sewing this past week, I decided to also tackle a sewing project. There’s an old dress that I acquired last year that used to be my mom’s back in the day. It was originally going to be donated, but I set it aside due to its potential. Black is a classic color, and the long floral skirt of the dress isn’t out-of-fashion.

The only downside of it is where the hemline of the “top” ended. Didn’t flatter my body shape. I’m currently in the process of moving it up about two inches, which means the bottom button will be disappearing. The hardest part is just making sure that nothing looks too bulky as I’m folding material. I’ve also added little decorative details too. Like ran a line on the collar, because for some reason, it only had it in the back. Now it looks a little more polished.

Fingers crossed that everything turns out okay. After all, I had to pull stitches out twice already for one of the decorative areas. One of the instances was when I had accidentally sewn the front of the dress to the back. What an idiot move on my part; I’ve never done that before. (My elementary sewing instructor would be so disappointed in me.) Although, now I’m thinking about taking half of the stitches out for those because I’m not liking the way they look when I model the dress.

It seems like I’m always trying to edit something, ever the perfectionist.

Like Sand in an Hourglass

Every few months, I visit Barnes & Noble’s website to research when authors’ books are slated to be published. I scan through all the novels on my bookshelves and, once I come across a book whose sequel I don’t know much about or if I’m curious if the author had written anything else since I read their last book, I will punch their name into the B&N search engine to find out more. And if I find anything useful, I record all the upcoming books and their publishing date in chronological order on a Word document. Most of the time there is usually at least one book being released per month that I desire, and this is the easiest way for me to keep tract of everything.

When I was researching earlier this week, it started pretty uneventful. One book’s pub date was pushed from June to December, which was fine with me – because I still haven’t read the previous book yet. But other than that, I didn’t learn any new information from the small handful of authors I had looked up.

On a whim, I entered an author’s name who I had practically given up on her ever releasing a sequel. The way her book ended, it felt like it had the potential to be a duology or trilogy, but at the same time, the storyline itself felt complete enough where I would be satisfied if nothing more was ever written about it.

Except the sequel is being released in ten days! (Turns out, it’ll be the conclusion to a duology.)

Kat Falls’ INHUMAN is actually getting a sequel? I was in shock.

This book was published way back in October 2013. I didn’t read it until three months later, but it blew my mind when I began to think about my own life during this time. I was a senior at MSU, and I even remember which building on campus I had cracked opened this book to read it for the first time. I was killing time between classes, and because there were no proper benches to sit on, I plopped myself on the dusty tiled floor (far away from the melting snow that everyone brought in from the front doors) and leaned against a wall to read.

It’s been five years since I’ve read this book. I honestly can’t even tell you anymore what the quality of writing was. I remember bits and pieces of the plot, but I have no idea if I’ll remember enough once I eventually read its sequel, UNDAUNTED. I’m hoping there’s a summary I can find somewhere on the internet; otherwise, I’ll have to go with the flow and do the best I can once I read its sequel. 

“Why don’t you just reread the first book?” you may ask.

Except I currently have twenty unread books sitting on my dresser. If I reread INHUMAN, then my pile isn’t getting any smaller. In fact, I’ve only reread one or two books since 2016. There are just too many interesting novels out there in the world, and I only have so much time on my hands.

Over the years, there are only a handful of books I have reread. Those beloved books that made an imprint on me.

But I’ve been thinking: Is there a certain number of times you have to reread a novel in order for it to be categorized as your “favorite” book? Or how long ago you last read it?

For example, if someone were to ask me what my all-time favorite book was, and I had to give only one answer right now, without a doubt, I would reply, “Stolen by Lucy Christopher.”

According to my book logs, I’ve read this Printz Honor book four times. It was published in 2010, but I first discovered it at my local public library a year later. After I had read it, I was determined to buy Christopher’s book if I ever found it at a bookstore. And sure enough, I eventually did. 

But the last time I read it was in December 2014. 

It’s been a little over four years since I last read this book. Yet, I can still remember a majority of the plot. The various ways the protagonist tried to escape her captor. The unique way of how the book was written as if it was an extremely long letter. The vivid details, especially in describing the harsh and desolate landscape of Australia’s Sandy Desert. (Which was practically a character itself.) It was a beautifully written piece of work.

And as I’ve been thinking about STOLEN these past few days, I’ve been tempted to pick it up and reread it a fifth time. Do I have time to squeeze it in a weekend? How much guilt am I going to feel at not reading one of my unread books? Why am I attributing thoughts to inanimate objects??

To be fair, I’ve spent the last two weeks in this weird “nostalgia” headspace. Books aren’t the only thing that has me thinking about the past. Music has contributed to this as well.

One example of this is with the singer, MARINA – formerly known as “Marina and The Diamonds.” I started listening to her music way back in summer 2012, but she hasn’t released an album since April 2015. I can even tell you which writing project I was working on as I was listening to her songs on repeat. But now, she is finally dropping a new album next month. It took four years.

What have I been doing in the past four years since she released her last album? What about five years ago when I had last read INHUMAN? Or even better, what about six years ago when it marked my anniversary earlier this week for when I decided that I should seriously pursue writing as a career option?

Even though I feel like my life is constantly just this giant waiting room, time seems to slip by too quickly and silently for me to grasp.

Expressing Thoughts

If you can recall a post I had written last June (right HERE, if you need a refresher), I was involved in my church’s Writing & Content team for the summer. Toward the end of summer, there was a writing session where only three of us could make it for that week. The leader, me, and another guy.

At some point, we were discussing about what kind of topics we were thinking about writing. In a half-joking matter, the non-leader guy – let’s call him Jay – expressed his frustration at how he had all these good ideas when he’s talking to other people about them, but when he sits down to write these ideas, he doesn’t remember them anymore.

“It’s almost like I need to carry a voice recorder with me,” Jay said. “Just so I don’t keep losing all my ideas.”

“It sounds like you’re an extroverted* thinker,” I remarked. He gave me a blank look, so I continued on. “I’m the same way. I have to write things down or say them aloud in order to process my thoughts. I probably look like a crazy person when I’m mumbling to myself, but it works.”

I don’t know if Jay ever employed any tactics to help him out since then – he did state that he lives alone in his apartment, so at least no one can judge him if he talks out loud to himself – but I’ve been thinking about this exchange lately.

Like I mentioned in my last blog post, I’ve been actively writing for the past nine days. (Well, I’m not counting today. I still plan on writing later tonight. This post technically doesn’t count.) My original plan was to begin my super short writing goal on Feb 18, but it didn’t quite happen that day. False start.

But since last Tuesday, I’ve been making an effort to write a little bit each day. The idea is to write at least an hour, but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way. Sometimes it’s only 30-45 minutes. Last Saturday I wrote for almost two hours. It all depends on how much time I have allotted myself in the evening and whether I’m in a mood to write more.

Surprisingly, none of them are fiction pieces. I’m honestly not quite sure what to call them. Personal essays? Some of them are memories that I’m writing about; others are just something interesting that had happened in my day, and I felt compelled to basically record it. Not like I live a very exciting life in the first place.

But the fascinating tidbit about them is, in all of their closing paragraphs, I seem to circle around the same two or three topics. Clearly there are some concerns that my brain feels important enough to keep calling attention to. It’s processing and reevaluating.

The big question is: can I find ways to resolve these particular issues/worries?

Either way, the workings of the mind can be cool and weird at the same time.





*If you research any sort of Myers-Briggs test, they will give you a completely different definition of what makes a person an extroverted or introverted thinker. (And that’s only if your dominant trait is Thinking rather than Feeling.) I wish I could remember and locate the article I had read long ago, but basically, the “extroverted thinking” I’m referring to is when you do your best thinking by having a conversation – whether with someone else or pretending that you are. So in a sense, you seek out people to bounce ideas off of. The “introverted thinker” is fine with just sitting there and sifting through the thoughts in their heads.

A Jumble of Randomness (aka: Snippets of My Life)

I struggled with writer’s block as I tried to come up with an idea for my mid-month blog post. I brainstormed some things that I either experienced or events that had occurred during these past two weeks, and honestly, I feel like my mind was all over the place. I’ll attempt to create some sort of order, but here’s what I’ve been thinking about lately:

1.) Still decluttering

That’s right – the fun hasn’t stopped since last month. I’ve been heavily attacking all the contents hidden away in the kitchen. My first business was the deep pantry. Bought two adjustable shelves to stack spices on one shelf, which worked beautifully. This way, you can now physically see everything instead of trying to locate a particular spice on either the plastic turntable or the overflow surrounding the turntable.

It took a little while to come up with an idea on how I wanted to organize the two shelves below the spices, but after a trip to my local At Home store, I got it figured out. Three sets of two clear bins now contain all sorts of dry good items on one shelf. As for the other, I got two wire shelves to place against the wall. All three shelves now also have a small light attached to the wall off to the side to illuminate them, because the kitchen light does a poor job of lighting the pantry in the evenings.

Next, I started thinning out the cabinet where we keep all the water bottles and casual dishes. Stacked all the water bottles into neat vertical lines. The following day, I went after the mugs.

My family has a mug-collecting problem. As in, they could be found in five different locations throughout the kitchen. Which is ridiculous. They were even starting to stack in front of drinking glasses. And the sad part is, only my Dad and brother uses them.

So I pulled out every single mug I found hidden away.

There are a total of 104 mugs.

Or should I say, there were that many mugs. I managed to convince my Dad to part with 40 mugs, which will eventually be donated. Now all the mugs can be found in only three different locations. (Two of which are on two shelves in the same cabinet.) It’s a start.

The next day, I tackled all the vases and fancy glasses. Everything we kept is now in straight orderly lines instead of cluttered together.

After all this, the kitchen still isn’t completely decluttered, but it’s definitely improving. Wish I could put my skills of organizing on my resume, haha.

Oh! And I’ve also been cleaning out my bathroom drawers. Bought drawer organizers and assigned different places for particular items. I have all this extra space since my sister moved out back in December, so I might as well take advantage of it.

2.) Snow

I’m tired of snow. I spent Monday-Wednesday shoveling/snow blowing by myself. I even woke up yesterday morning with sore arms and shoulders.

On Tuesday, the snow was heavy with rain from earlier in the morning. Which made my shoveling much more difficult. I didn’t even try the snow blower, because I was afraid it might ruin the blower’s mechanics in some way.

Fifty minutes into shoveling, I only managed to clear a third of my driveway. Across the street, a truck pulled into the driveway of my neighbor’s house and plowed through their snow. I narrowed my eyes at the company truck. Show off, I thought.

Once the majority of the driveway was cleared within minutes, the man got out of his truck and started his snow blower. I stopped shoveling and watched him, wondering if it’d actually work for him.

He plowed through the sidewalk and pathway leading up to the house with ease.

Which was good news for me, because it now meant that I shouldn’t have a problem with my snow blower. But it also meant I labored for almost an hour when I could have just used the snow blower in the first place.

So once the man moved to a house two over to work on clearing their snow, I reached for my snow blower. I didn’t want to make it obvious that I only thought to use my snow blower because of him. Which isn’t completely true – I was just afraid of breaking things, knowing my luck. Stubborn pride of mine.

3.) Books

I finished reading THUNDERHEAD by Neal Shusterman on Feb 9. Ah, that cliffhanger ending! I change my mind about what I said in my last post about not having any writing influences – when it comes to anything third-person omniscient, I think of Shusterman. It still baffles me that his name isn’t as well known. (After all, he’s written so many books over the years.) At least THUNDERHEAD’s previous book, SCYTHE, earned him a Printz Honor.

So now I’m onto my fourth book of the year: SKY IN THE DEEP by Adrienne Young. I’m not that far into it, so I can’t say too much about it yet. It is Young’s debut, and it’s about a Viking-like society – which had me sold. I have surprisingly never read a fictional book about Vikings, so I’m hoping Young doesn’t let me down.

4.) Writing

I haven’t done any sort of creative writing since NaNoWriMo ended. I spent my December recuperating my sanity and enjoying the holidays. During the month of January and part of February, I’ve definitely been in my Season of Absorbing. I’ve been eating up so many stories in either book or TV show form. I even went back and reread three short stories of mine. Two were old stories, though, so the writing made me cringe a little. But still.

I think my “absorbing” is drawing to end, though. My fingers are itching to do some writing. I have even decided, starting on Feb 18, to write every day for the rest of the month. I don’t care what I’m sitting down and writing – just as long as I’m typing away. For some reason, I’ve been pondering a lot about non-fiction pieces, which is a bit weird for me. Either way, I think I’m aiming for an hour a day. We’ll see come Monday.