Challenge Complete

So. Yeah.

By the end of my last blog post, I basically persuaded myself to participate in NaNoWriMo. Going into it, I only had three rules for myself:

1.) I was going to write various short stories.
2.) I was going to try and write every day.
3.) I was going to aim at beating last year’s NaNo word count.

I wrote a total of ten short stories. (Isn’t that a nice number? I didn’t even plan it.) I was happy to finally write three of them because I’ve been meaning to write them for years, but I never got the motivation to actually write it. The idea was recorded in a notebook, but it tampered off so I never touched it. One of them was something that I thought of way back in ninth grade, so the fourteen-year-old in me was relieved that I finally got it to work.

Story #2 was inspired by a song. Stories #5 + 6 were drawn from plots that were put up for adoption from the NaNo forums. Story #7 was inspired by a dream I had back in January. Stories #8 + 9 were thought of on the spot when I was typing way while simultaneously watching a MSU football game (even though the stories had nothing to do with football). Story #10 kept me going for twelve days and I managed to crank out 19,000 words for it, which was inspired by the tv series by sister was binge-watching on Netflix (thank, sis). The best part of the last story is that it’s not completed and I can go back to it whenever I want because there is no ending in mind, only the end of certain characters.

Want to take a guess what my final word count was once the month was over?

Answer: 52, 119 words.

I won.

I. Won. NaNoWriMo.

I won!!!!

I finally did it. I finally won NaNoWriMo. It only took me four years, but I did it.

I never skipped a day of writing. I was very strict with myself on trying to obtain at least 1,667 words each day. I even found time on Thanksgiving to hit the daily word count. I was always exceeding the word count for the day that by the time it was November 20, I was officially a full day ahead of schedule. Therefore, I managed to reach the 50k mark a day early, but I still went ahead and wrote on the 30th simply because of rule #2 and because I wanted to keep my bar graph consistent.

As you can tell, I’m quite proud of myself. Not bad for someone who went into it at last minute without much of a plan.

Now I can finally say what to expect in terms of winner goodies. I finally got a fancy ‘winner’ ribbon for my account.

I didn’t think that I could do it. However, I do have to thank my August/September writing project for teaching me that I could crank out that many words in a day if I keep to a schedule (even if I didn’t feel like writing on a particular day).

And the fact that I hardly leave the house. In years past, I always had other commitments that I needed to focus on instead. But we’re not going to talk about my hermit lifestyle.

Because at the end of the day, it’s nice to complete goals. Goals that surprise you. Goals that you didn’t think that you had it in you. Goals that display your determination.

Now onto a new goal.

That is the face of surprise and excitement. Sorry about the horrible quality of the picture.

(Can we just get an applause for me for being able to figure out how to incorporate pictures on this post?)

NaNoWriMo '14

To NaNo or not to NaNo? That is the question.

It’s that time of the year again when NaNoWriMo starts up. This year, for the first time, I’m uncertain whether I want to participate.

The main reason is that I already did a large writing project a couple of months ago. I started it on August first and I wrote every day that month (there was only one day that I skipped). By the end of the month, I was quite proud of myself to reach around the 46,000 mark (so that made it my best ‘NaNo’ word count yet).

But because the story wasn’t quite done, I kept going into September. After a total of 48 days of writing from start to finish, I completed the project at around 74,500 words.

So basically, I did a belated Camp NaNo. Or an early official NaNo.

But now November is arriving and I don’t have any idea what I could write about.

I mean, I have more time to write than in the past years because I don’t have classes or homework interfering.

Part of me is playing around with the idea of simply writing short stories throughout the month instead of just one big project (which is what I did in 2012). It’s less of a commitment since I dedicated a lot of time on my other project.

And then there’s another part of me that says maybe I should settle for a much smaller word count goal for November so I don’t feel too pressured to try and beat my amount from last year. Like maybe try to just hit 15,000 words for the month or something so I don’t feel too bad if I don’t write something every day.

But if I’m being totally honest with myself, I become competitive when it comes to my writing (I’m not usually a competitive person). Even if I say that I’m going to have a low-key NaNo, I’m not going to do it.

I’m going to want to surpass whatever word count goal I have established and try to beat last year’s (so it’d have to be over 36,000). And I’m going to force myself to write daily because of that stupid chart that tracks how much I write. I love seeing those bars of the graph grow.

But if I succumb to that temptation, that’s going to be a lot of short stories. And I don’t know what I can possibly write that will carry that large of a story arc.

Sigh.

Decisions, decisions.

…What if I freestyle and focus on just one story? I mean, I used to make up short stories on the spot for NaNo ’12. What if I did it on a larger scale, no matter if it makes sense or if it has plot holes? It could just be a story for my own eyes.

Even though I’m more of an outline person. I like to have an idea of where my story is going. Otherwise, once I hit a roadblock, I don’t know how to overcome it.

It’d be quite the challenge for me, though.

Hm. I guess I have a few options before me to choose from.

Teacher Appreciation

While it’s quite early (or late, depending on how you look at it) for teacher appreciation week, I just wanted to write a post thanking a particular teacher that I had back in high school. Because I think we sometimes forget how influential teachers are in a student’s life.

My favorite teacher was my English teacher in tenth grade. Her name was Mrs. Schubert. She was short and small in stature, pixie-cut brown hair, and magenta glasses.

She was one of those rare teachers where she cared about her students, but still genuinely taught them. She handed out blankets that she kept in her metal cabinet for students because the room was always sub-zero in temperature (she even kept a heater under her desk). If she realized that no one was paying attention to her, she would make her way to the back of the class and dance. If you weren’t watching her, then too bad, you didn’t get to see her hilarious dance moves.

During the first semester of that year, my lunch fell during her period. After sitting by myself at lunch, I would race back to her room to get away from the cafeteria. Usually because of this, I would be the first to arrive back to class and she would always talk to me, asking me how I was doing. Every Friday, she would ask what I have planned for the weekend. This became our tradition.

She was also the first to believe in my writing abilities. From time to time, she would assign journal entries for us. For extra credit, I would write stories. She was impressed with them and was thinking about entering a couple of them in contests. She was also worried that I worked too hard and was not getting enough sleep.

As the year was drawing to a close, she pushed me to consider taking AP English next year. I had never taken an AP class before, and I was afraid that the course load would be too much for me. But I registered anyway, mainly because she also taught one AP English class and I was hoping to get her for another year.

Much to my disappointment, when I got my class schedule for eleventh grade, I did not get Mrs. Schubert. So I went to visit her after school on the first day and she told me that I was welcome to visit her before school starts. (Turns out, everything worked out in regards to me not having her as a teacher because I befriended a girl in my AP class and I still talk to her to this day.)

So I did visit her in the mornings. I would arrive about 5-10 minutes before the first bell would ring. There were a few other students that would come and go, as well. Sometimes she even put me to work, decorating her room for the holidays.

When the next semester rolled around and it was time to switch teachers, I was surprised that I actually got Mrs. Schubert for English. But this time, I wasn’t pleased. I started to view her more as a friend and I was unsure whether I could handle her as my teacher again. So I cut the days I spent visiting her in the mornings, usually only going twice a week (I wasn’t going to give up my Fridays for anything. I wanted her to ask me what I was going to do this weekend.) I figured that I see her every day for class, anyway.

It didn’t take me long for me to regret not seeing her more often.

By early April, during our Spring Break, she was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. She left to get chemo, so we had a sub for the rest of the school year.

She never returned.

Today marks exactly five years since she died.

After all this time, I still think about her and wonder how things could have been different if she were still around. Would I stop by my high school, pull up the metal stool to her desk, and tell her how college life is treating me? What kind of advice would she dole out?

I don’t think I ever thanked for all that she did for me. But just in case she wasn’t fully aware:

Thanks for being there. Thanks for talking to me when I had no one. Thanks for challenging me academically. Thanks for encouraging me as a writer. Thanks for building my confidence.

Thank you.

Advice for College Freshmen

For many people out there, the time to head back to school has begun (and for those unfortunate ones, you could already be back). Some of you will be heading off to college for the first time.

This blog post is dedicated to you.

Considering that I just graduated from college in May, I like to think that I have some advice for you incoming freshman. After all, it’s still fresh in my memory. (Plus, my brother will be heading off to college in nine days.)

And because I like lists, that’s exactly what you will get.

1.) For those of you who will be living in a dorm and rooming with a person that you were assigned to: Relax. You should go in with an open mind and work on at least tolerating the person. There is a chance that you won’t become best friends like some people. I went in blind four times and only once did it not work out (and she was my first roommate; she moved out by the end of the semester, so it all worked out). You will be living with this person for a school year. If things become sour and you need to move out, you always have that option.

2.) It will be strange adjusting to how your classes go about homework. They give you a schedule of when things are due and when tests will occur. Stay on top of this. I purposely did most of my homework during the weekends so that I didn’t have to do so much during the weekdays. I’m weird like that.

3.) Get involved! You don’t have to go crazy with it, but it’s the easiest way to make friends. A lot of people like to join organizations that revolve around their major because it gives them a leg up. And that’s totally fine. Plus, club activities force you to get out of your dorm and not solely focus on schoolwork.

4.) Don’t freak out about your major. People average to changing their major twice while at college (or something like that). I switched once and thought about changing it again. You’ll be fine. Take a variety of classes and see which ones not only interest you, but you do well in.

5.) Extra advice (because five is a good number to stop at): Strike up a balance. Don’t overload yourself with work. Take time for yourself, whether that means going to the campus movie theatre or taking a walk. For me, I spent it reading books between classes or typing out a story in the evening after homework was completed. 

Bottom line: Have fun! But remember to also make time for schoolwork because that’s the whole reason why you are there in the first place.

It goes by quick. Trust me.

Dealing with Rejection (aka: A Pep Talk)

For two days back-to-back last week, it was not a good time in my household.

My two siblings and I had to face some hard rejection. Out of privacy, I won’t say what any of it pertained to. All I will say is that, in some way or another, part of our future plans had to be rewritten that day.

Rejection sucks.

It destroys hope. Which you did not realize how powerful that feeling is until hope is deflated like a balloon.

Once the shock leaves, you’re left feeling hurt, confused, and utterly lost.

I’m not going to give you some sort of cheesy motivation in order to “turn that frown upside down.”

I want you to do something else.

I want you to give yourself permission to feel.

Cry. Eat a carton of ice cream. Watch a sappy movie. Scream your frustrations. Sigh dramatically. Sleep.

And then. When you are scrapping the bottom of the carton with your spoon and the credits are rolling, there is only one thing left to do.

Pick yourself back up.

Turn on loud aspiring music.

And try again.

(I believe in you.)

Day 28

(Warning: This post will contain a ton of randomness.)

It has been twenty-eight days since post-graduation.

That's sort of strange for me to think about. The days start to blur into one another. I feel like I've done quite a bit in that time frame, but at the same time, it doesn't feel like I've done enough. I guess that that is normal for me, though. Overestimating how much I can get done.

Anyway, a quick run-down of all that I've done:

*I've seen three movies in theatres.
*Completed six books (a total of about 1400 pages)
*Gone to Cedar Point for the day
*Planted flowers
*Caught some sort of bug/cold and I've been sick for ten days now (although, this is something that I'd rather not have happened)

...Okay, so the list doesn't look very impressive. There was a lot of little things that I've done around the house, but I figure that it would be pointless to list them on this blog.

I'm not going to put a list of things that I need to still get done because that is a rather long list. Basically, a majority of it boils down to: clean/organize rooms around the house, face fears, and figure out what I'm going to do for the rest of my life.

That doesn't sound too hard. Right??

Although, you should see my basement. It could easily fall under "face fears" with all the junk piled everywhere and cobwebs coating the windows.

Randomness: Last Friday, I finally pulled myself together and got back into writing creatively. It had been almost two months since I last wrote something and I think it took me a whole week of staring at a blank word document before I finally got the courage to fill it with words.

I wrote a fantasy short story. (I love writing short stories, by the way. Although they could almost be viewed as "super short stories" because they tend to be under 5,000 words.) I think I'm on some sort of fantasy kick. Although, a part of me still wants to write something more contemporary. But alas, I do not have any storyline. I do have a particular character that has emerged, but I have no idea how to use her.

I don't write many contemporary stories. I either get bored of them halfway through or they start twisting into dystopian territory. Maybe this says something on how I view life?

This is the End

Tomorrow I will be graduating from college.

My mind still can't wrap around the idea that this day has come. Where did the last four years go? I remember graduating high school and buying dorm supplies, worried about what it would be like to leave home and not know anyone.

I moved out of my dorm yesterday. I'm going to miss that room (I've been in the exact one for three years). I'm going to miss my loft. And my view out the window, where I could distract myself from homework by people-watching. And easily getting dinner in the caf with friends. I loved being on campus and I'm probably one of the few people who will say that.

How could I leave this place? I have so many good memories here.

I remember a group of us hanging out in a dorm room and watching a movie late at night on the eve of MSU's first snow day in sixteen years during my freshman year. I remember hanging out in the quad of Armstrong Hall during my sophomore year and that one of my roommates secretly kept a teacup Yorkshire terrier in the dorm. I remember having a girl's night with my church ministry in my junior year, where we made gingerbread cookies (even though it was only Nov 30) and painted nails. I remember standing out in the rain during multiple football games during my senior year, my parents coming up to visit in order to celebrate my 21st birthday, and Senior Appreciation Night.

Tomorrow I must leave the place I've grown to love and acknowledge the fact that my time as a college undergrad is over.

I've learned so much over the course of four years: about myself, about friendship, and the material in my classes (even if sometimes my grades didn't reflect that :/ ).

I feel so blessed to have been give the chance to go to college here. I will always look back on these years fondly.

I hope that, in some small way, I have made a difference in a few lives while I lived on campus and met so many new people.

Thank you, Michigan State University. It has been totally awesome.

(Ten point to whoever understands my italicized reference above.)

Spring Fever

My favorite season is spring.

I love the way the trees start to bud, especially the cherry blossom trees. I love the way flowers start to appear and decorate lawns. I love the warm weather, reassuring me that bulky winter jackets and boots are a thing of the past.

I love the fact that winter is over and I have three great seasons ahead of me.

Best of all, spring reminds me that I can begin again.

I feel like I’ve been stuck in a rut (especially these past two months). I’m just going through the motions and worst of all; I’ve gotten content with it. This bothers me. I don’t like sticking myself in my “safe box” for too long because when I finally do try and branch out from the necessary tasks that I need to do in my day, I make excuses.

I want to be more bold, more ambitious, more fearless.

I don’t want my last two months here on campus to fly by before I got a chance to do something worthwhile or memorable.

I got a taste of spring earlier this week for one day. I had to hop over puddles from the mounds of snow melting. I even switched to a lighter jacket. Being able to breathe in the warming air, I got a brief taste of what it was like to not be in winter (until we got a snowstorm two days later and killed my dreams).

Maybe I just have a case of stir-crazy, but I’m itching for the earth to renew itself.

And that fierce desire to be fearless? I welcome it with open arms.

P.S. Happy pi day!!

What defines you?

Two days ago I attended my bible study. To get us started, we usually answer an ice breaker. Sometimes they're silly, sometimes they pertain to what we will be reading later. Anyway, the question that was asked for this week was: What defines you?

As a typical introvert, I prefer to go near the tail-end of everyone's responses. Or not go at all if no one catches me. But it was interesting to listen to what people had to say.

"Traveling and the outdoors."

"The beach."

"My major."

"My family."

"My heritage."

Eventually, it was pointed out that I hadn't said anything and it was now my turn. I had a hard time coming up with something, though.

I mean, we as a human being are complex. How do I answer that question with just a few words? I am a sum of all of my parts. I am a daughter, a sister, a Christian, a college-student, a writer, an introvert and I am

me.

My name is what sets me apart from everyone else and it encompasses all of the qualities that make up who I am.

I define myself.

P.S. I hate to be that one person who talks about the weather, but is anyone else feeling the "January Blahs"? (I'm not sure if that's a real term, but just roll with it.) I'm so tired of the bitter cold and the wind and the snow flurries. I think that after New Year's Day, it should stop snowing.

I guess that's what I get for living in Michigan.

It's a love-hate relationship. I'm not a big fan of the winter, but I do like having four seasons.

I'm ready for spring, though. Anyone else?