Reflection

So the year 2014 is approaching very soon.

Looking back, it seems like the past year has flown by so much. Then again, I feel like I have this thinking at the end of every year.

Next year, I will be graduating from college. Such a strange thought.

Thinking about the end of my undergrad and my uncertain future, it made me reflect on that one saying: [insert age group] will be the best time of your life.

For me, junior high sucked. High school was better, but not by much. College has been great, but it certainly comes with its own stresses.

And I’m sure that the “real world” will have its own perks and strains.

But when do we finally reach that “best time of our lives”? Do we ever get there? Or do we constantly strive to better our lives that our idea of “best time” changes as we grow older?

I think I like that idea. I mean, it’s sort of depressing to think that one day I may look back and constantly long for a period of time in my life that I will never achieve again. It’d be reassuring to know that my life is filled with “good times” throughout than think that I’ve already past that one “best time.”

Maybe I need to ask an elder for their opinion on this…

P.S.  Just in case anyone was curious, I actually finished my NaNo with 36,181 words. So I didn’t win. But! I did manage to beat my word count from last year (by about 400 words) and that was the whole point.

By the last week of November, I seriously doubted whether I’d surpass my last year’s word count. During the last two days, I cranked out 5,822 words and it was finally enough.

I was supposed to be writing an essay during that time for a class. Instead, I wrote for NaNoWriMo. I probably should get better priorities.

A week later, even after staying up until six in the morning writing my second essay that week, I still don’t regret it.

NaNoWriMo '13

Ah! I feel awful for taking such a long time to post something new.

It was a bit belated, but autumn finally arrived here in Michigan. It’s gotten colder and most of the trees here seem to have shed their ignited foliage. I’m so thankful that I live in a dorm and I don’t have to rake the leaves (so…much…raking back at home).

Before I know it, Thanksgiving will be right around the corner. However, something exciting is approaching…

Tomorrow is officially the start of NaNoWriMo!

For those of you who are not in the know, basically you try to write 50,000 words in the month of November. It’s a crazy month. I have to try and balance writing, school-work, sleep, and some type of social life (although, let’s be honest, that’s the first to go).

But I love it.

This will be my third year participating (I’ve known about it for five, but I just decided to finally go for it three years ago). And you know what? I’ve never actually “won.”

The first year, I only got to 26,898 words. That’s it. I always meant to finish the story, but now I think it’s probably better off being on the shelf. Last year, I was a rebel by writing a bunch of short stories instead and cranked out 35,740. It was quite an improvement.

Do I think I’ll actually reach the 50k mark this year? Probably not. And that’s okay. The whole point of NaNoWriMo is to stop making excuses and get you to write more. For me, my goal is to just surpass last year’s amount. And I’m actually focusing on just one story this time.

I’ve been stuck inside this “box” for a while, overanalyzing everything I write and paralyzing me. NaNo will help me pull out of it.

I think all of us should write with reckless abandonment this month.   

P.S. Happy Halloween!!

New School Year

It’s official. I’ve been back at school and at my dorm for one week now.

Going to my classes, I’m relieved to find that all of them aren’t solely based on exams. This is good for me because no matter how much I study, I get too stressed out from the pressure and the test results usually don’t go as expected. However, that now means that I have quite a bit of assignments to keep track of throughout the semester.

But I’m sure you really don’t want to hear about my classes.

Instead, I just wanted to let everyone know that I did something brave in the month of August.

First, on the tenth, I got contacts!

I had attempted to wear contacts seven years ago, but they didn’t work out. I sat at the eye doctors for a few hours; trying to get the lens into my eye with no avail (my siblings weren’t too happy with me). So I had to sadly resort to glasses.

Fast forward to last September. My roommate at the time, by some coincidence, had the same prescription glasses. However, she was an avid contact-wearer and it got me thinking of perhaps taking a shot at getting contacts again.

Once my dad finally made our annual eye appointment, I started preparing myself. I watched youtube videos on how to take contacts out. I learned to touch my eyeball again without my brain freaking out. I tried to get myself accustomed to seeing my face in the mirror without glasses.

When the day finally arrived, it was a success. Gazing into the mirror, I had forgotten how blue my eyes were and how long my eyelashes really were.

But that’s not the only courageous thing I did!

I also got a haircut. Straight-cut bangs.

I started toying with the idea as far back as March 2012, but I wasn’t sure if I could pull it off. I had glasses, but they weren’t those hipster glasses that sometimes accompany girls with blunt bangs. Most of all, I hadn’t had bangs since first grade.

I was terrified. If I didn’t like the look, then I knew that I’d be stuck with it until they grew out (and my hair grows at a slow pace).

So on August 24, after doing two virtual makeovers and still riding on my contacts bravery, I found myself at the hair salon. With one eye closed, I watched the hairdresser snip the hair in front of my face.

Two days later, I arrived on campus as a new person.

I’m hoping that this is the year that I don’t let fear stop me from doing things. I got a good start moving back here.

Are there other people out there that create new school year resolutions?

Why this blog?

I am an introvert. (If anyone is familiar with the Myers-Briggs Test, I fall under INTJ.)

Considering that I have a difficult time with understanding technology and I don’t like talking about myself, why in the world would I create a blog? That just doesn’t add up.

And that’s the point.

A few months ago, I came to a point in my life where I thought I needed to change things. I was ending my third year of undergrad and as I looked around me, my peers were starting to sound like they were growing up. They had exciting stories and they were taking steps in pursuing what they came to college for.

As for me, ever since I entered college, I have always felt like I was lost and I made excuses for myself on why I wasn’t like them.

You can’t go to x event because you have homework to do.

You wouldn’t like that event anyway because it would mean talking to people, which you don’t feel like doing today.

You’d rather sit at your computer than go out.

You don’t like change.

I came to the conclusion that being an introvert wasn’t a bad thing, but I was using it as my crutch.

So, after many years of hiding inside myself and fearful of how others would perceive me, I decided to create this blog.

I’ve liked writing for as long as I can remember and I figured that it could help me be courageous. It’s easy to share my thoughts on a space where I control.

So here’s to being brave.